tine sparkles

click to enlargeSeeker it is for me! I am a typical seeker...unfortunately... luckily? I always wished to be a 'striver' to know what I want and where I want to go in the first place to aim right at it and go for it straight away. I have always envied those who are like that (here it is one of my deadly sins "envy") and it took me the longest time to understand that these two forms even exist. Why didn't anybody tell me this any earlier???!!
I used to think there was something seriously wrong with me being so indecisive and wandering all over the place trying this and trying that not really knowing what I want or like best or am able to do my best at or where I wanted to be... talk about a stressful life especially being surrounded by strivers growing up in a total striver society sytsem. 

BUT...but, it does work after all in its own crazy way and no matter how long it takes and how many turns on the path one will reach one's destination on some point! There are many roads leading to Rome! I will know it when I'm there. After trying so many different things to see not only what works but what works for me I was able to narrow down my focus after all which was quite a process and still is (the self discipline part resisting all the temptations). Being a seeker has me on a much longer path, it's a windy road with a ton of intersections but that's ok, after all I get to enjoy the sightseeing of so many interesting places, learning a lot of different new things, having loads to talk about when I arrive at the destination. I know I've reached my destination by feeling that it is right and when the blurry image of it gets sharper.
But those times when I do know where I want to go I don't always know how to exactly get there and am in dire need of a road map with the exact details of which steps to take. But that's not how life works so it can be quite frustrating.

And yes, you strivers... I still envy you but I accept that there is nothing I can do to morph myself into a striver, it's not who I am, I have accepted my fate and I keep my faith. My being a seeker is actually a big part of SF since it led me to create this "treasure hunt" exploring style in our studios!!!

In my own studio it often  shows itself in a chaotic desk (a desk is all that is left of a studio space for me now after our last move) that is unorganized til I clear it up and sometimes it reflects in my art and ideas itself. The image above are little paint chips I used to determine the best colour combinations in a painting by shuffling them around until I find the combination of them is the 'right one' and the only one. The same works here and I feel when it is the right one.
 So imagine my relief finding out about Strivers and Seekers!! All the energy that is being freed up knowing that I am perfectly fine the way I am!!! Loads of energy to do some more exploring... -  I'm just kidding.  I'll keep my focus now, stay disciplined, keep pushing, improving, believing, walking ahead, chin up, going-for-it-no-matter-how-long-it-will-take!!

Let me know your address so I can send you a post card once I've reached Rome, I'll have a big adventure story to tell!!